I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now (at least since last weekend) but due to my self-imposed corp stasis and need for “radio silence” I felt it would be in the best interest of everyone involved if I kept it to myself. However, since Rixx Javix has opened the door on the goings-on between Lucifer’s Hammer and Rote Kapelle I can speak openly about my decision and the reasons for leaving when I did. My intent is not to air the dirty laundry in all it’s detail, nor to throw anyone under the bus; I like everyone involved too much to do that. This post is more about me. I am, after all, my favorite topic.
I joined LUCRH to help grow the US timezone activity level and I sort of knew that I would be a bit disconnected given the difference in timezones. No matter, I joined anyway, believing that Rixx was out to create a truly elite PvP corp, using EVEOGANDA to bring in the best and brightest. We spent just a little bit of time in Black-Mark before receiving (and accepting) an invitation to join Rote Kapelle. I was, in a word, ecstatic. I knew exactly what I was getting into and had every expectation to get trolled to hell and back if a dumb loss showed up on the board. I also assumed (correctly) that they don’t tolerate other forms of ‘teh dumz’, whether aired publicly on the killboard or not. I, for one, didn’t care because we were being given the opportunity to fly with one of the truly ‘elite’ PvP alliances in all of EVE.
One of the hopes for the relationship was that we (LUCRH) would bolster the EU presence of the alliance and for a while it seemed to be working. We were getting kills in the EU times and I was happily contributing during the US prime. The corp was growing, we were shooting up the rankings and having fun all at the same time.
And then something changed.
I can point my finger on the exact instance but it’s not important. Save to say I found myself feeling more and more embarrassed by my own corp and the impression I felt they/we were making. I began to see less and less effort toward integration and more and more effort toward pissing everyone off (and if you need further proof of that, take a look at the comments on Rixx’s post. Trust me, they’re nothing like the threadnaughts on the RK forums).
Eventually I came to a tipping point. I realized that I needed/wanted to fly with people like Stim/Rote who demand excellence, don’t take crap off anyone and wear that intolerance as a badge of honor. Their attitude is ‘if you screw up, prepare to be trolled until you get it right. If you can’t take the trolling then GTFO’. I’m old enough to realize that there are times when I need to swallow my pride and actually listen to what’s being said, stuff my emotional response of ‘who the hell do they think they are?’ and learn from it. I’m already doing that with my new corporation and it’s not easy. It takes a lot for someone to admit that they may not know what’s best and to TRUST the advice being given. It is far easier to lash out or obstinately to do the opposite.
I’ll close by paraphrasing Mike Lin, an architectural graphics guru who I’ve had the pleasure to take a class from. He says that design is all about attitude. He believes it so much that he applies it to life in general and makes the point that your attitude colors your relationships, your work, your design, everything you experience all day long. He says it something along the lines of “have shitty attitude, have shitty day.”
I had a great time in Rote Kapelle.